Rifling through some older papers the other day I came across this list of tongue-in-cheek computer definitions as understood by Australian country folk. It is attributed to Mick Myers.
I hope it brightens up your day.
Enjoy.
| Log on | make the barbie hotter |
| Log off | don’t add any more wood |
| Monitor | keep an eye on the barbie |
| Download | get the firewood off the ute |
| Floppy disc | what you get lifting too much firewood at once |
| Window | what you shut when it’s cold |
| Screen | what you shut in the mozzie season |
| Byte | what mozzies do |
| Megabyte | what Queensland mozzies do |
| Chip | a bar snack |
| Microchip | what’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips |
| Modem | what you did to the hay fields |
| Dot Matrix | Old Dan Matrix’s wife |
| Laptop | where the cat sleeps |
| Software | plastic knives and forks |
| Hardware | real stainless steel knives and forks |
| Mouse | what eats the grain in the shed |
| Mainframe | what holds the shed up |
| Web | what spiders make |
| Web site | the shed |
| Cursor | the old bloke who swears a lot |
| Search engine | what you do when the ute won’t go |
| Server | the person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch |
| Mail Server | the bloke a the pub who brings out the counter lunch |
| User | the neighbour who keeps borrowing things |
| Network | when you have to repair your fishing net |
| Netscape | when a fish manoeuvres out of reach of the net |
| Online | when you get the laundry hung out |
| Off line | when the pegs won’t hold the washing up |
