Bit of a laugh - some IT industry definitions that should make you laugh

FunnyRifling through some older papers the other day I came across this list of tongue-in-cheek computer definitions as understood by Australian country folk. It is attributed to Mick Myers.

I hope it brightens up your day.


Log on make the barbie hotter
Log off don’t add any more wood
Monitor keep an eye on the barbie
Download get the firewood off the ute
Floppy disc what you get lifting too much firewood at once
Window what you shut when it’s cold
Screen what you shut in the mozzie season
Byte what mozzies do
Megabyte what Queensland mozzies do
Chip a bar snack
Microchip what’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips
Modem what you did to the hay fields
Dot Matrix Old Dan Matrix’s wife
Laptop where the cat sleeps
Software plastic knives and forks
Hardware real stainless steel knives and forks
Mouse what eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe what holds the shed up
Web what spiders make
Web site the shed
Cursor the old bloke who swears a lot
Search engine what you do when the ute won’t go
Server the person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Mail Server the bloke a the pub who brings out the counter lunch
User the neighbour who keeps borrowing things
Network when you have to repair your fishing net
Netscape when a fish manoeuvres out of reach of the net
Online when you get the laundry hung out
Off line when the pegs won’t hold the washing up

Topics: Standards/Frameworks/Methods

Further Reading



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Revision History

First published: Simms, J. (Aug 2010) as "Bit Of A Laugh - Some IT Industry Definitions"

Updated: Chapman, A. (March 2020), Revisions and Corrections